To you, its all or nothing, as there is no middle option. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and its his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. Hence I feel that no-contact is more successful at helping the dumpee heal, but is less successful at helping the dumpee get the dumper back. On the things that she wants to do.. coz I cant be in a relationship where only one person is doing it all. Ive not contacted her since she didnt reply to that message and that was 5 days ago, I dont know how long to leave it, 30 days seems abit too long seeing as we were only together 2 and half months? So, when you use the no contact rule on these type of men what is going on in their heads? Its why your ex broke up with you in the first place. I strongly suggest you let her think what she wants while you find someone who appreciates and values you. What to say? You reach out but you do not mention that he deleted you. She tried to get us back together but I said I need time to think. hi Lily, you broke NC once you answered his text, you need to go 30 days SOLID no speaking with your ex to complete a successful NC and in that time you work on yourself. Its hard not hearing off someone you went from being best friends with to on/off with, back to friends then to not talking. They have to be committed to doing so. Hes very stubborn. We were planning a future together , things were going perfectly till she went out of town with work. At first glance, you wouldnt think so since no contact is generally a very easy to understand idea: No Contact- A rule stating that you are not allow to call, text or get in touch with your ex boyfriend for a certain period of time. The greater the love the greater the loss. What about then? When you couple this resentment with the no contact rule you get what we are talking about here with an ex trying to get back at you. Now, this brings up an interesting question. If you're the one that severed the relationship or did something that forced your partner to break it off with you, they may have some hurt feelings or anger issues to sort through. If the dumper feels guilty or remorseful for leaving the dumpee (especially if she left the dumpee for someone else), wouldnt no-contact actually help the dumper move on quicker? I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I havent really talked about what the purpose of it is. This is SOOOO wrong on so many different levels. How else can you meet other interesting and more beautiful girls if you're hanging on the memory of an indecisive girl. If he does happen to get in touch with you from anywhere between 21-30 days then I would consider that to be a pretty long time for an ex boyfriend to not respond to you. This is always best done over the phone, because it's easier for you to attract her by being confident and making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again. He doesnt speak until today. So, they are probably going to be thinking of the whole no contact experience as a game. What about when you were in high school and you really liked a boy who wouldnt give you the time of day? We both have been in rough relationships and on top I lost my daughter more than 2 years ago. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. Hope you get better soon. Your ex will think about you more because youll become mysterious and make your ex wonder what youre doing and how youre coping with the breakup. Trust me, youll get her and you wont think about your ex much anymore. I cant understand why he has done this as hes always been so set on being with me. I mentioned she had a story still on her Instagram of her ex, why did she still have it, obviously that makes me look jealous though so I wish I hadnt mentioned it, she said she didnt even realise it was there, and she hasnt watched it and its over a year old, I said she asked me to remove everything of my ex from my profile and I did when we first met (I had like 3 posts on my insta from like a year ago) as I knew how It made her feel, so how do you think it makes me feel to see that, as I still follow her. And also look into different living situations so you are not living together long term while broken up. That means there were some big unresolved issues your ex couldnt or didnt have the determination to fix. However, when it comes time to actually build or grow your relationship communication is going to be required. The point I am trying to make here is that silence is very powerful and the no contact rule uses silence to its advantage. Its been 5 months and no contact. Give full vent to your feelings in the comments section below the post. But if your ex is smart, your ex will work on them so that your ex doesnt encounter the same issues in the next relationship. That reason is that your ex doesn't want to get back with you. The next thing I do is answer as many comments on this site as possible. I remember one time where there was someone I really wanted to talk to. Its just the way it works. What is in your control, however, are the mistakes you make after the breakup. I created this section with the purpose of detailing those reasons so I can hopefully give you more insight into what is going through a guys mind when he commits one of these reasons.. That immediately closes your exs possibility of returning back to you. I often talk about the importance of making logical decisions on this website. And when she does, b/c she will, you will need to be a different kind a man. Sadly, for the dumpee, no-contact is the only option, but this only option probably wont help his chances when he is out of the dumpers mind. I wouldnt be able to take her back on the spot, but if she would work for it really hard and show me things are different now, I might give her another chance. While it is always important to find that delicate balance between logic and emotions it is also important to remember that the mere fact that your ex is trying to get back at you through the use of his silence means he is feeling emotions. Learn how your comment data is processed. This is especially true when it comes to men who are extremely stubborn. Thats when they improve their perceptions of their exes and oftentimes even interact with them. He said he had to let me go as he cant give now me the love and care I deserve. The best advice I can give you is to manage your expectations. So far we have talked about the progression that a guy goes through (in his mind) if he is going to get back at you. Dont remember? Get your stuff together. A mans heart is stubborn. That would be impossible as they had a close connection with their ex and created a lot of memories. In fact, I recently filmed a video about just that. Your ex won't forget about you during no contact To start with a little bit of hope to cling to, rest assured that dumpers don't just forget dumpees. Should I message him or move on ? How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? This guide is going to be looking at that situation specifically and breaking it down from your side and your ex boyfriends side. Maybe you have just started it or maybe you are coming close to your end date. I have no idea but my ex did the same thing, 5 months after our last talk, he blocked me. After we split within two weeks he started dating someone else who he is still with. My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With, posting depressing things online and feeling sorry for yourself. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. Here's the upside to her unfriending you. Its really driving me crazy now. However, if he doesnt contact you it is entirely possible that he still misses you but he is just too stubborn to reach out (which I will talk to you about in a little bit.). Make sure you dont pressure him. Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. I dont mean her full attention towards me, i even asked only a little of her time. If you stay friends with your ex, right after the break-up, you are going to suffer and stay friends until you choose to go separate ways. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. He hasnt texted me though, and I want to get him back. (And I hadn't even made any move online to suggest how I felt or that anything had changed in my life.) Would you rather him do it? Dont waste your time or energy on something like her when you deserve better! Well, just because a man is stubborn and wont contact you doesnt mean that he doesnt miss you it just means what we all already know, hes an idiot :p . Read the articles about your first reach out text. Its just that we are afraid to open up about it. Believe me when I say it takes a man who is incredibly stubborn to not contact you during a 30 day NC period. Yes, there are time where you have to view it as a game (the talking phase, getting your ex back, etc.) Well, like I explained above. As for a way back, thats why we have the program to give you the information and tools to attempt to get your ex back, but also work on becoming your best self. University of Idaho murder suspect Bryan Kohberger may have been driven to kill by his history of social issues and a possible "incel complex," a former FBI . But if your relationship was good, then you might want your ex back even after youve regained your composure. I broke up with my girlfriend after she betrayed me by cheating and denying about it. Lets say that you are using the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. I have done some really shameful things when I have been ignored in the past. In reality, it delays the time it would normally take to get on talking terms, because they associate all negativity, such as your neediness and the new anger they feel as a result of your persistence, with you. If you want your ex back because youre hurting and your relationship wasnt that great, you want your ex back for the wrong reasons. Going no contact is particularly useful after a relationship's breakup, especially if you were the one who was dumped or betrayed. Anyway, your ex wont forget about you during no contact just because youll give your ex some space to breathe. Its been almost 90 days since we talked and Im really wondering if he has moved on, he said he left because I betrayed him by saying I was friends with someone else he clearly holded such a grudge to and I have no idea if hes moved on or not, a few days ago that one person he holded such a grudge to tried to talk to him and he got really mad for a few hours, does this mean he hasnt moved on? Love your honesty, made me really think about my actions and his. I sent her a message asking how she is and she gladly replied that she is doing good. The call ended well and he texted a few hours later saying he really enjoyed speaking and thanked me for being so understanding. 3. I am currently almost day 6 and struggling. She said thankyou we were laying in bed at this time and she started to kiss me the first time she had all day, I then stupidly thought to try to initiate sex with her as I thought she was kissing me so why not see, she said is that all I want and is that the only reason I stayed, it wasnt at all, but I asked her why she had been avoiding it as we hadnt had sex in 2 weeks, she had told me previously how important it was to her in a relationship. Because I have literally been in that position before. While I am certainly annoyed to get responses like that I do have to take some of the responsibility. He or she will remember both the good and the bad times. You are worthy of love. Unfortunately, most women dont realize that fact. Allow yourself to release the pain. If you really think she is posting how happy she is to simply make you jealousthen youre letting her manipulate you. She's telling you that she wanted to stay but it hurt her to do so and her unfriending you is her taki. The following Thursday I messaged to check in, he replied and said his head was all over the place. Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. If youre worried your ex will forget about you and scared your ex will find someone else, you need to know that what youre apprehensive about is much less important than what has already happened (the breakup). We had rented our apartment together and the 23th August we went for the sign off, I found out about this other guy from malasya who left a few days after that day back to his country, and obviusly hurted me a lot and I say a few things to her, no bad words, just the truth, and bcs of it she blocked me everywhere, social media phone email etc ecte cte the 15 Of September i made a call, we spoke for 10 minutes, she was receptive with what i had to say, I was just wishing the best luck for her and telling her that I had no resenment. You have embarked on the no contact rule and you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? While I would tend to agree with that you are in a very unique situation here in that we are talking about your ex boyfriend. Another thing is that i have also been dealing with so much anxiety and she caused me this. Thats just the way the human brain works. During this conversation, he did not mention a meeting or anything like that. I suppose I could have done a better job of explaining the complexities of how this is all supposed to play out. I have thought he is worth waiting for. He wanted to meet and said that he understood that he loves me but is not ready to propose. 4. Are Dumpers Afraid To Contact Their Dumpees? We spoke the following Tuesday for an hour. 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